It occurs to me that whenever one has a little private fantasy hour, one tends to leave out thoughts of the hours of just cuddling.

Yea. God, cuddling. It sounds so incorrect, from me. But I guess there's a level of contentment, and if she's willing to play with my dreads for two hours, I won't stop it.

I'm still wondering where all this comes from. Still wondering how I manage to seduce someone without realizing, how I'm going to deal with a relationship. Wondering if I want to. I realize quite swiftly that all I want may be a quick fling. But I told her that, I told her it all--that I'm not ready for commitment, that if she's just looking for a woman, she's not found one, that I haven't had a steady relationship in seven years. Hell, that I barely know her. But she wants to try anyway. Women.

I'm terrified of the implications. I don't want drama. I don't want to break anyone's heart. But lying there in the winter sunlight scratching designs over her back, I felt too content to question it.

This is going to be stupid. This is going to be a mistake. But I guess I'm going to jump off a pier anyway.